His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
