He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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