Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
