Swine flu. Run for my life!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
did i just pee glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize