For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
