And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
