Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
