wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
