I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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