So drunk its hurt
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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