seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
