For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
