Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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