We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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