I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
