The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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