I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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