Nicole vs. Life
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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