"it" just moved
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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