I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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