I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
