tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize