Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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