i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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