all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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