I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
