I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
