U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
