sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So vagazzling was a success
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