he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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