Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
