I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
youre lurking in front of me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
