I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize