i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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