Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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