Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
