Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
