420 ftw
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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