You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I believe in your delicious
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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