just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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