Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
