No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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