i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
