I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
