You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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