I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I stole a fireplace last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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