More tranny stories later!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
