Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
