my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
