he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
