literally had 100 drinks last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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