don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
