Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
