I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
