All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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