she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
