Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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