Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
