who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's always time for handjobs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
