I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
