Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
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If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.