Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.