I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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