do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
