Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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