my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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