The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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