this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
