there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
