please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
