So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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