i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You are a genius and a whore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
