Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
